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The Glumlot Letters

A Devil's Discourse on Sobriety,
Recovery and the
Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

By Stanley M.

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Capizon Publishing        ISBN13: 978-0-9659672-3-5        192 pages        $12.00

With wit and humor, this delightful work covers the serious matter of recovery from alcoholism. In the same way that C.S.Lewis's The Screwtape Letters taught spiritual principles, Glumlot presents a practical application of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

"Now here's something different. So much recovery literature is trite and even corny. The Glumlot Letters is well thought out, well worded and well worth reading." - Dr. Paul O.

In letters to a fellow devil, Glumlot writes about his attempts in tempting a human away from A.A., sobriety, and recovery. He discusses meetings, sponsorship, the Big Book and the Steps in great detail, and warns that these can lead a human to " intractable infection of serenity by the Enemy [God]."

Excerpts from The Glumlot Letters .

[from Letter #4]
I received your urgent letter. So your patient has been invited to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and what should you do? For Hell's sake, don't panic. Use the skills you have learned and make the most of each situation to wrench the patient away from the truth, light, and freedom, and move him closer to the banquet table for Our Father Below.
I have attended many of these A.A. meetings-more than I would care to admit-and the key to success is being quick and precise in using the basic techniques of distraction, befuddlement and fear.
Before I go into detail, I am obligated to warn you of the potential danger of accompanying your fellow to a meeting. It is possible that one or more of the humans in attendance are in very close contact with the Enemy. They will be surrounded by that impenetrable light upon which we must not even glance. But do not be discouraged. Many meetings are conducted without these folks present.
If your fellow is asked to read something from the standard liturgy, you should hope it is the one with all the unpronounceable "anonymities" in it. Most newcomers fumble this word without our help, and you can convert excitement into embarrassment, and pride into humiliation.

[from Letter #9]
Oh, by the way, if your patient does spend any time reading from the book concerning the Second Step, be sure to read over his shoulder and catch the part about the "bedevilments." I was so surprised when I first saw it. It is clearly a reverent tribute to our work. It recognizes nearly the whole range of our area of expertise, and clearly portrays the extent of our effect on humans when in the hands of a master tempter.

[from Letter #11]
If he wants to dabble with an inventory, try the following format: tell him he is not oversensitive, it is just self-directed empathy; he is not childish, he has a youthful mind; he is not greedy, just motivated to be self-sufficient; his manner isn't pompous and grandiose, he is self-confident; he is not inconsiderate, he is free from the obsession about what others think; he is not conceited, he has learned to love himself; he is not lustful, he just has an abundance of natural desires.

[from Letter #17]
Some humans, especially non-drinkers, give us all the credit for getting our patients drunk. It is not like that at all. We suggest the first drink, but only the disease can hold the door open long enough for the idea to get in. No human in his right mind, who had an allergy such as this would ever drink again, but the illness somehow erases the memory or circumvents normal logic. We can knock on the door. It is the alcoholic who must answer. He must come alone if he is going to drink and once again set the cycle in motion. In some cases, the Enemy is at the gate with him. So you try again some other time. We can "Keep coming back," too!

Copyright © 1997 by Stanley M.
Published by Capizon Publishing

of The Glumlot Letters

Here is the full text of the book review which appears in the January 1998 issues of The Steps for Recovery and The Phoenix , two periodicals that specialize in recovery-related topics. (See links page for more info about them).

The Glumlot Letters: A Devil's Discourse on Sobriety, Recovery and the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous by Stanley M. (South Bay Books, $12)

In a wickedly delicious parody of C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters, Stanley M. turns his sights on the Twelve Steps and the recovery process. The Glumlot Letters are correspondence between two devils, Twigmold and Glumlot, and the subject is tempting a human away from AA, sobriety and recovery.

Twigmold's "patient" has begun drinking to excess and he's delighted. Glumlot warns him, however, not to take heart too soon, to examine the quality of the blackouts. If the blackout "blocks the light of the Enemy," and suspends rational judgment, it is a triumph for the Lowerarchy and an excellent opportunity for Twigmold to make his appearance and make his patient feel "abandoned and utterly hopeless."

The patient, however, turns to AA and is poised on the threshold of Step Four, to Twigmold's dismay. Don't worry, says Glumlot. Convince him that he can do it by himself and that it has to be an exactly perfect "scorching and clueless" inventory.

Whatever the author aims at, he hits a bullseye, and he doesn't miss a misunderstanding about the Steps or a place where we can trip over human egoisms and fall on our recovering faces. If we've had a stumbling recovery, probably this book will show us where our problems lie.

The book review is by writer and columnist, Audrey DeLaMarte. She recently received her second Polly Bond Award for excellence in book reviewing.
What are people saying about The Glumlot Letters?

What do people in the treatment profession say?

"I think every AA sponsor ought to read it... everybody in treatment settings or professional staff ought to read it. It's a great piece of work." -Gerry McD.
* * *
What do the leading authorities on recovery say?
"Now here's something different. The Glumlot Letters is well thought out, well worded and well worth reading." - Dr. Paul O.
* * *
What do book reviewers say?
"[A] triumph of satire Whatever the author aims at, he hits a bullseye. If we've had a stumbling recovery, probably this book will show us where our problems lie. It's a delight..." - Audrey DeLaMartre .
* * *
What do owners of 12-step bookstores say?
"This is a gem...full of humor, spiritual insights, experience. A 10-strike!" -Charles B.
* * *
What do other authors of 12-step books say?
"I love your book!! What a great idea! I just devoured it when it was recommended to me. I went back to get another copy for my father..." - Frank D.
What do regular AA members say?
"The real surprise was how the book improved the quality of the program I was working!" -LizAnn A.

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